Somebody Had to Say It
I don’t often get into politics on this blog. I have one of those jobs where you have to adhere to a formal employee social media policy as part of brand safety. Talking politics on the internet is a good way to get yourself all worked up and saying things in the heat of the moment. Historically speaking, my political ideology largely amounts to thinking everyone’s political beliefs stink but mine. Dangerous territory. However, I feel I have to speak up on a certain matter, even if doing so wins me some enemies.
The Philly cheesesteak tops the French dip. I used to imagine otherwise, but then I took to making cheesesteaks at home using premium ribeye sliced by hand. A quality cheesesteak is superior to the French dip, and the roll doesn’t matter. You read me right. The roll… doesn’t matter. Obviously, you don’t want to go with something like a hot dog bun or bagel, but any reasonably good soft torpedo will yield an outstanding sandwich.
As long as I’m alienating friends and family here, let me just say that mayo is better on cheesesteaks (and burgers) than ketchup. I’m not saying you can’t enjoy ketchup or even catsup; they’re great too, but the Philly taboo against mayonnaise on a cheesesteak shows a lack of sophistication, and dare I say, class. The whole of South Philly is wrong about Cooper Sharp, too. Provolone reigns supreme on the cheesesteak.1
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter whether you prefer the French dip or a cheesesteak, nor if you have either with onions or without, because the NYC chopped cheese is a better sandwich than either of them. There’s no contest. If you never had one before, imagine a cheeseburger chopped up like a taco and served on a sandwich roll. Effin’ fantastic. Any cheese goes well on them. If it’s cheese, chop it. Cooper sharp, Provolone, cheddar, American, chèvre… Heck, I’d bet even cream cheese works. They’re quicker and less messy to make than burgers, too. And the leftovers store the same as you would taco filling. It’s a fabulous sandwich across the board and in all regards.
All that said, I’ve been getting fat since I moved to the suburbs. I mean, you’d recognize me and all, but I need to slim down. I’d blame the cheesesteaks and chopped cheese sammiches, but my phone app says I’ve only been getting about half my normal amount of exercise over the last couple of months. Which makes sense, because I had been staying around the house a lot, but I recently started going on my long photo walks again, so I should lose a few pounds in a minute or two.
Footnotes
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For all you out-of-towners, adults in the city don’t typically ask for Cheez Wiz on a steak. That’s more of a kid thing. If you’re curious, the Philly Taco is definitely something drunk college kids do. I’ve never actually had one, but they sound good. There’s actually a lot of debate over where you should get the cheesesteak from, but Jim’s or Ishkabibble’s are both acceptable, but you have to pick one or the other and remain loyal forever and ever. ↩