A1C & Me

A heatwave is on the way. Temperatures are expected to reach 313.15 Kelvin by Thursday. That’s too hot. Al Gore should have said something.

I had a long day of work. Now I’m drinking a beer. It’s making me sleepy.

The doctor says I need to go easy on the alcohol. My A1C is too high. My elevated blood sugar could be the result of genetics. Or lifestyle. Or a common side effect of my cholesterol medication. Possibly all three working together. It’s not dangerously high or anything. But it needs watching.

I could try marijuana in the evenings instead of booze. It’s legal in New Jersey now. You can walk right into a store and buy whatever you want. No need to get knocked up by your drug dealer or any of that nonsense. How times have changed.

Of course, I can’t smoke the marijuana. That might awaken a latent fondness for cigarettes. That’d be another thing the doctor would tell me not to do. Quitting smoking was difficult. I don’t want to start that up again. It would have to be gummies or something. That’s fine. Modern weed smells like skunk piss anyhow.

The doctor also recommended cutting back on sugar and carbs, and I might lose a little weight. Setting aside that gummies are candy, THC is a peckish drug in its own right. There is some risk of uncontrolled snacking.

And I’d have to check with HR. My office is in New York, where it’s illegal to terminate employment for legal drug use while off-duty. And I live in New Jersey, where marijuana is legal. On paper, it all checks out, but I need them to sign that paper.

Meanwhile, I’m on a diet. I do not enjoy it. It makes me hungry and irritable, despite getting plenty of calories and all the macros. I’ve also been on-call for the last week, getting woken up at all hours of the night. That hasn’t helped my disposition any. Fortunately, my tour of duty is over, and I’m free for the next few weeks.

I’d like to eat a pint of ice cream and go to bed, but it’s only 7 PM, and the doctor specifically said not to do that—eat the whole pint of ice cream for dinner. She never said I shouldn’t put a little sugar in my protein shake. That’s almost ice cream. Right?

You heard me. I drink protein shakes now. To counter the effects of run-of-the-mill, age-related anabolic resistance. It never ends. And then it’s over.