Ensnared in a Web of My Own Consumerism

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5:00 AM. The winter holidays are finally winding down. I am ready for the weekend. The weatherman says it’s supposed to snow.¹ I’ll believe it when I see it, but I don’t expect to get outside to play in the accumulations tomorrow. I’m trapped here indoors for the next couple of days, waiting on packages from Amazon, UPS, USPS, FedEx, DHL, and some other courier service I’ve never even heard of before.

Over the last few months, I ordered all the things I expect to need for the next four years. Well, not everything, obviously. I don’t have the budget for a well-stocked billionaire bunker or armored mega yacht or anything like that. But I did manage to refresh my wardrobe with higher-quality clothing and footwear.² I also purchased lightweight luggage and travel supplies.³ All of my critical electronics are up to date and on the better side of current technology. Stuff like that.

I have a hunch that “supply chains” will be “disrupted” soon, and I wanted to get my hands on the obvious things now before the price-gouging gets even worse. I don’t feel good about the near future of the U.S. dollar, the Stock Market, or my 401K. I’m skeptical about their long-term futures as well, to be frank. Fortunately, I am not an expert in these subject matters, so don’t worry too much about what I think.⁴

6:15 PM. Good news! Nearly all of my packages were delivered today. I’m still waiting on a new humidifier, along with my monthly supply of $800 prescription eye drops. They won’t arrive until tomorrow at the earliest. I can work around that easily enough.

Footnotes

1. Sure, our protagonist could have been a weatherwoman or weather-fluid, but in this case, it was a generically handsome man doing the cloud splainin’, and I don’t believe for an instant anyone with hair that good bothered going to meteorology lessons in his twenties, so, weatherman. ↩

2. I bought a pair of NPS Solovair boots, and I love them! ↩

3. I work for The Airplanes now. I should travel. ↩

4. On the other hand, you probably don’t want to be on the wrong side of one of my hunches, either. I’m spooky. So, I don’t know, have some cash on hand and maybe by a gun, just in case. ↩