Never Amazon Again, Again

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This evening, I got so angry with AMZN’s “support” chatbot that I nearly burst a blood vessel in my eye.¹ Then, I entered a time vortex. In under 45 minutes, I managed to…

• walk around the block with no coat on, you know, to cool down while looked for my packages,
• cancel my Prime membership, yet again, deleting all my payment methods from the site for added friction if I one day decide I “need” to buy some garbage and have it delivered to a random stranger’s house,²
• research the best alternatives to AMZN where I could buy a similar product,
• place an order elsewhere for a similar product, but this one has a recognizable brand name and not something like FlugalTochhen³ or AmbXanAI,⁴
• swear an oath never to order anything from AMZN again,
• and make a green salad with red lettuce to go with dinner.

Those people aren’t getting another dime out of me. I’ll read APPL Books if things come to that. Oh, and my new thing is referring to companies I’m mad at by their stock symbols because that’s all they really are now: a collection of shares with potential for dividends.

Footnotes

1. Serenity, now. Serenity, now. ↩

2. Yes, my packages were delivered to the wrong address two days in a row. ↩

3. Ryan George: What Shopping On Amazon Feels Like ↩

4. Why Amazon Products Have Those Weird Names ↩